Healing & Transformation
personal journey

My Journey

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In 2016 I found myself on the banks of the Lago Di Argentina in Patagonia, barefoot, walking into the water, praying to God, BEGGING to feel something, anything. I like to refer to it as my Eat Pray Love moment. Calling out to a power higher than me, asking for guidance, for connection, hoping something would hear my plea and rescue me from the numbness I had been feeling. 

I wrote a list of everything I wanted to manifest in a man, my soulmate, my twin flame, and then wrote out a list of ‘the woman I wanted to become’, with the thinking that, since I didn’t know who I was, I could surely create her. (Looking back over these lists recently, I realised that they completely mirrored one another- but that is another story!)

In December 2014, I ended a steady, long term relationship with a lovely man, who loved me deeply. We couldn’t communicate. I felt like I couldn’t express my feelings, and didn’t know how to even articulate my desires through fear my needs wouldn’t be met. I chose to walk away because something inside me was begging for more. What that was, I didn’t know, but I knew there had to be more to life. I had this deep yearning for purpose and adventure and a love that was profound and cosmic and earth-shattering that pushed me to grow beyond my edges. I chose to abandon safety and security in the hopes that I could find what I was looking for. Following this constant knowledge that there was more for me than to be a housewife in the town I grew up in, with two kids, and a longing for more, that would get louder and louder, which is where I feared I was heading.

Honestly, I think I went into shock. After years in a relationship, putting him and his needs and desires first, through my learnt patterns of self-sacrificing for love, to a point where I had totally abandoned myself and didn’t have a clue who I was. If you’d have asked me what I liked, or disliked, I wouldn’t have been able to name one thing. I was lost. I felt like I had no purpose. No passion. I felt disconnected from my body, my soul and my heart.

Realising this scared the hell out of me so I spent the next few years, travelling the world with work, numbing to these feelings that only magnified my unhappiness by partying, drinking, drugs and blowing all my money on clothes and adventures. 

What I didn’t realise at the time was that through attempting to numb those feelings, they were only going to get louder. I could only run for so long. 

Adding weight to the emotional side of things, through training as a dancer and working in the modelling industry since the age of 18, I had learnt that my body was a tool and my means to money. My self-worth was literally attached to a price tag. I was pitted against other women, constantly compared and comparing myself to others. “I am not beautiful enough/tall enough/skinny enough [insert any other criticism]” Caught in a toxic cycle of trying to be good enough, and learning to scrutinise my body and force it to fit into a standard of beauty that wasn’t my own. Telling my body day in day out that it wasn’t good enough, caused me to disconnect from her, refusing to listen when she needed rest or love. It was my own mental prison.

I was dipping my toe into spirituality since the break-up, learning more about all things mystical and manifestation, but I was missing one crucial point, the embodiment. Numbing myself was blocking me from vibrating at the frequency I needed to call in the things that I REALLY wanted. I became great at surface level manifestation, calling in trips of a lifetime, and wonderful soul sisters, but none of it was MINE. It was always someone outside of me offering me what I wanted, rather than calling in my power and cultivating it for myself!

I bounced from man to man, attaching and projecting my ideas and ideals onto them, hoping that perhaps THEY could make me happy. Each relationship ended, plunging me into varying states of depression and dismay, questioning what I had done wrong.

Always thinking it was something wrong with me, something I had done. And I had. I had neglected myself. I had attached to the stories that were playing out in my physical world, that were trying to encourage me to focus inward, on my inner world, and cultivating everything that I was looking for in my human experience, and embodying it MYSELF.

So that is the foundation of my journey, numb to feeling, disconnected to embodied, self hate to self-love.

November 6, 2020

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I see dolphins jumping in and out of the ocean when I see you, I see conch shells. I also see depth & wisdom. You are a womb oracle. The magic that you bring the the womb space, I have chills running up and down my neck right now. You take the womb and make it into its own world, where we can just crawl up inside & rediscover who we really are and that no, i’ve not met anyone else who can do that and i’ve worked with womb healers. You glow and you’re an angel and I love you dearly."

"You take the womb and make it into its own world... i’ve not met anyone else who can do that! 

- Allison

I celebrate & honour the multidimensional Priestess that lives within you, the moment that I felt you, heard you speak and every Time you step into a space I feel the mother. I honour your choice to be on this path and to share these teachings with the world. And I mother fucking love your silliness too. You are just as beautiful inside as you are radiant outside, truly. Your soul shines. I love you, sweet one."

"You carry very deep feminine wisdom & codes, beyond what you realise & know. 

- Chelsey-Jo

When I think about you I feel so much fluidity, and water and flow and life force essence, just the purest feminine energy. Pure feminine juciness. Like in ancient Hindu philosophy there's the Universe, the ether, the energy, the feminine that IS, the paradox of Kali. Kali can be both crazy & destructive but Kali can also reincarnate as this loving, giving mother, and nurturing and this very giving lover as well and you ARE that. In our womb journey healing that we did together, I mean that’s been and will continue to be a big initiation for me, that I am still getting curious about and it came up in a conversation with a client the other day, that just this intuitive knowing that black holes are the wombs of the universe, and when I said that, i only know that intuitively because I entered my womb with you and that wouldn't have happened if i hadn't met you. Thank you.."


- Julianne

People can experience being in the womb again with you, but the healed womb, going back into that amniotic sac where I can be fluid & flow and know that i'm birthing into a place that's like so cosy and warm and exciting and it's like the removal of the distortions. You have this ability of rebirth through your medicine and your heart-womb connection is like this golden liquid light and it's just so incredible and to witness the way that you hold it is inspiring. And even witnessing you move through the waves it is still so fucking potent and knowing that you always return there, it's incredible. You are the embodiment of the calm in the centre of the storm. So thank you for helping me also remember. I’m grateful to be reunited and I love you."

"You are like the love fairy, the gushy, lovey, invitational, warm honey that just wants to be poured onto the self and immersed in it!

- Kelly

"It's taken me some time to give you a testimonial because I don’t even know how to verbalise, you know! And the thing that your essence is just like so pure & your level of beauty inside & out and your wisdom and I don’t know how to say this but you’re someone I would expect to completely trigger me but with  your purity, i’ve never felt that way about you at all. I’ve always just felt so loved and in equality with you even though you are just so magnificent. You hold every aspect of the feminine all at once, every phase, and I think that’s such a huge piece of your medicine. I love you, thank you."

"I’ve always just felt so loved and in equality with you even though you are just so magnificent.

- EmmaLee

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